IV Writing Effective Sentences

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Exercise 27 29 Sentence Length Variety and Emphasis. Below are four paragraphs from draft versions of student essays For practice revise each. one to improve the effectiveness of sentence length variety and emphasis Try not to change. the basic sense in any important way but make whatever changes that will make the. paragraphs effective, 1 Driving up to the campsite my father chose an empty spot up against the thickly covered. mountainside and close to the lake We were unpacking our equipment and setting up our tent. when an elderly man walked up our path Introducing himself he told us that he was camped. farther up the mountain about a hundred yards away and that walking to his campsite he saw a. huge black bear running away from his campsite When he got to his campsite he discovered his. tent knocked down and his food scattered all over the ground With concern for our welfare he. suggested that we may want to move our camp away from this bear s haunts. 2 The sky promised hot and sunny weather Closing our side pockets and adjusting our pack. straps we quickly prepared for our hike up Black Tusk in Garibaldi Park With great enthusiasm. for a hike that I had never before travelled we set off in the early morning light on our first leg. of the journey We would be at the top in a few hours. 3 Our sense of time can change in dramatic circumstances When I was nine I was hit by a car. while I was on my bike I didn t even see the car but I heard the screeching brakes As I flew. through the air I had this odd sensation of floating above the ground which seemed to come up. slowly Time stopped Then I hit the ground and time sped up I was taken to the hospital and. although the whole incident must have taken 20 or 30 minutes it seemed as though only a. minute or two had passed, 4 Repotting a house plant is not so difficult Assuming it will be too time consuming and messy. plant owners procrastinate about repotting Actually it takes very little time and effort if you. follow a simple set of instructions Once repotted your plant receiving fresh minerals and. oxygen from the soil will grow into a healthier plant And you will love looking at your thriving. 5 The popularity of the fictional character Sherlock Holmes began in 1887 when Arthur Conan. Doyle introduced Holmes to readers in A Study in Scarlet By 1893 Doyle wanted to stop writing. about Holmes and to write more important fiction He wrote The Final Problem in which. Holmes fell off a cliff into a dangerous waterfall and died Doyle did not anticipate the reaction. of his fans Around the world people mourned the passing of Holmes and wrote to Doyle. begging him to write more stories Finally in 1903 Doyle brought Holmes back to life again in. the story The Empty House Doyle wrote his last Holmes story in 1927. The Concise Canadian Writer s Handbook Third Edition. Oxford University Press 2017,Exercise 30 Analyzing Sentences. A Try analyzing the following sentences by each of the three suggested methods Doing so. should give you a sense of the advantages and disadvantages of each you can then use. or adapt the one you prefer or use different methods for different kinds of sentences. You may even want to invent your own method,1 Children danced to the music of the piper. The Chart Method,Subject Finite Verb Object or Adjectival.
Complement Modifier,Children dance to the music of the piper. The Vertical Method,Sentence Type Clauses Phrases Sentence Function. Subject of,Independent,Simple sentence Children noun independent. Finite verb of,danced verb independent,Prepositional. the article,Object of the,music noun,preposition,Prepositional.
the article,Object of the,piper noun,preposition, 2 A chinook is a warm wind blowing eastward off the Rocky Mountains. The Concise Canadian Writer s Handbook Third Edition. Oxford University Press 2017,The Chart Method, Subject Verb Object or Adjectival modifier Adverb modifier. Complement,chinook is wind a modifies chinook off the Rocky. a warm modifies Mountains modifying,wind the participle. blowing eastward blowing,participle phrase,modifying wind.
The Vertical Method,Sentence Type Clauses Phrases Sentence Function. Independent,Simple A article,chinook noun Subject,is finite verb. warm adjective,complement,Verbal present,blowing verb. participle,eastward adjective,the article,Rocky noun Proper noun. Proper noun,object of the,Mountains noun,preposition.
3 Many potentially good films are spoiled by sensationalism. The Concise Canadian Writer s Handbook Third Edition. Oxford University Press 2017,The Chart Method, Subject Finite Verb Object or Adjectival Adverbial. complement modifier modifier,films are spoiled many good potentially. modifies modifies,films good,sensationalism,The Vertical Method. Sentence Type Clauses Phrases Sentence Function,Simple Independent Many adjective. Passive Voice potentially adverb,good adjective,films noun Subject.
are finite verb,spoiled finite verb,Object of the,sensationalism noun. preposition, The Concise Canadian Writer s Handbook Third Edition. Oxford University Press 2017, 4 Both the beaver and the maple leaf are Canadian emblems. The Chart Method,Subject Verb Object or Adjectival Adverbial. Complement modifier Modifier,beaver maple are emblems both maple.
leaf Canadian,The Vertical Method, Sentence Type Phrases clauses Sentence Parts of speech function. Simple sentence Both adjective,the article,beaver noun subject. and conjunction coordinating,the article,maple adjective. leaf noun subject,are finite verb,Canadian adjective. emblems noun, The Concise Canadian Writer s Handbook Third Edition.
Oxford University Press 2017, 5 Although she was discouraged Suki persevered and after a few more tries she succeeded in. clearing the two metre bar,The Chart Method,Subject Verb Object or Adjectival Adverbial. Complement modifier modifier, she Suki she was discouraged few more after a few more. persevered modifying tries,succeeded tries prepositional. two metre phrase,modifying bar modifying she,succeeded in.
clearing the,two metre bar,The Vertical Method,Sentence Type Clauses phrases Sentence Function. Sub clause Although conjunction subordinating,discouraged adjective. complement,Independent,Suki noun proper,persevered verb. and conjunction,Prep phrase after prep,few adjective. more adjective,Object of the,tries noun,preposition.
The Concise Canadian Writer s Handbook Third Edition. Oxford University Press 2017,Independent,she pronoun. succeeded verb,Prep phrase in prep,clearing gerund. the article,two metre adjective,Object of the,preposition. B Here is a longer more complicated sentence For such sentences the vertical. method is probably the most convenient Try it You may want to challenge a. classmate see which of you can write down the greatest number of grammatical. facts about the sentence, Constructed of stone and cedar the large house that the Smiths built on the brow of Murphy s. Bluff an exposed promontory was so sturdy that even the icy blasts of the continual north wind. in December and January made no impression on it,The Vertical Method.
Clauses Parts of,Sentence type Sentence Function,Phrases Speech. Past participle Verbal past,constructed verb,phrase participle. stone noun,and conjunction,cedar noun,the article,Independent. large adjective,house noun,that conjunction,subordinate. The Concise Canadian Writer s Handbook Third Edition. Oxford University Press 2017,the article,Smiths noun proper noun.
built verb finite,Prepositional,the article,Object of the. preposition,Murphy s noun proper,Bluff noun proper. Noun clause an article,exposed adjective,promontory noun. was verb finite,sturdy adjective,Subordinate,that conjunction. even adverb,the article,icy adjective,blasts noun,Prepositional.
the article,continual adjective,north adjective,Object of the. preposition,December noun proper, The Concise Canadian Writer s Handbook Third Edition. Oxford University Press 2017,and conjunction,January noun proper. made verb finite,no adjective,impression noun,Prepositional. it pronoun,Exercise 35 Correcting Misplaced Modifiers.
Revise the following sentences to eliminate awkwardness resulting from misplaced. 1 Our submissions were accepted only if they were postmarked by midnight. 2 I pledged when I became a parent always to listen to my children. 3 In the morning she decided on this day she would skip dinner entirely. 4 Through the window I could see my grandmother coming. 5 For two days they discussed booking a trip around the world but decided against it. 6 A piano stood in the centre of the stage with only its outline visible to the audience in the. 7 The newspaper published only three letters to the editor yesterday. 8 It seemed merely a few days before he returned from his journey to Nepal. 9 The students decided to work on their project for four days and then hand it in. 10 The discounts were available only to those who had completed their applications before the. Exercise 36 Dangling Modifiers, Revise the following to eliminate dangling modifiers. 1 Sitting quiet and fascinated the baby in her playpen gazed at the hyperactive hummingbird. 2 By using first person narration the author leads the readers to wonder about the reliability of the. 3 Being adept at substituting one ingredient for another one must be creative in order to cook. 4 Looked at in this light Hamlet is very much like other people. 5 Reamur introduced the idea of testing small sample rods and then studying their structure when. they are fractured, 6 Being the youngest member of the community I find it hard to convince the elders of my. experience, The Concise Canadian Writer s Handbook Third Edition. Oxford University Press 2017, 7 My activities when I am not going to school or working range from playing tennis to surfing. the Internet, 8 By using this style the author added more tension to the dialogue.
9 The colonel began to send groups of reinforcements to the weakened position reinforcements. who were only to be ambushed in the mountain passes. 10 Whispering in the darkened theatre we spilled our popcorn onto the floor. 11 When I entered the room I saw that the desk was full of open textbooks paper and used coffee. 12 When completely cooled the brownies are ready to eat. 13 After teaching us the correct way to clean our hiking boots our instructors showed us the route. for next day s hike,Exercise 37 Mixed Constructions. Revise the following to eliminate mixed constructions. 1 The decrease in tourism was due to the fear of terrorism. 2 Soccer happens to be a sport that is very popular in Brazil. 3 I found the children s literature website to be very useful. 4 The new styles were popular with both men and women. 5 Since for most of us our earliest recollections are mere fragments of things that made up our. childhoods we must rely on the objects or ideas around us to trigger the past. 6 The popularity of reality television programs is not a sign of a decadent society. 7 The lessons to be learned from the game were focus and teamwork. 8 When I was looking for my dropped car keys in the grass beside the driveway I found a lucky. four leaf clover,Exercise 38 Faulty Alignment, Revise the following sentences to remove illogical or incongruous alignment. 1 I decided not to buy it for it was too expensive. 2 Despite the upheaval people were undergoing spiritual enlightenment during this period. 3 Clearly his ability is greatly underestimated, 4 The only light in the house came through the windows. 5 It is a rectangle,6 The poem expresses the meaninglessness of war. 7 The speaker in the poem is euphoric and energetic. 8 The effort required in reading the text indicates a weakness in the writing. 9 The idea of life and death was constantly in the pioneers minds. 10 She was very young when she started university, 11 The amount of food that could be brought to the picnic had to fit in two small baskets.
Exercise 40 Faulty Parallelism, Revise the following in order to repair faulty parallelism. The Concise Canadian Writer s Handbook Third Edition. Oxford University Press 2017, 1 Disagreements over the war were not only apparent between elected officials and voters but. were also apparent between various elements of the armed forces as well. 2 People adopt roles in life that they are most comfortable with or that they will benefit from the. 3 Not only was our trip like an adventure but it was also very much like a marathon. 4 It is significant that the prosecutor ignored the jury and tried to address his comments to the. 5 Part of the report is not only concerned with the present situation but it also prepares the way. for the important reforms that are ahead, 6 We are told that we should eat more fibre eat less fat and exercise regularly. 7 The homeless are a neglected group in our society and in our own lives. 8 About 1750 it became clear to the French that the arrival of the few English traders was only. Writing Effective Sentences Exercise 26 Modifiers Choose five of these bare bones sentences and flesh them out with various kinds of modifiers

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